Brian’s story of Our Pat: love, courage, and life beyond disability

When Brian speaks about his late wife Pat, his voice carries both pride and profound loss. “They say it gets easier,” he reflects, “but for me, it’s getting harder. I’ve always had Pat with me. There’s a huge vacuum now.”

Pat was born with Cerebral Palsy, a condition that affected her mobility and speech. But it never defined her life or her love story with Brian. After her passing two years ago, Brian made the decision to write a book to honour her courage and their remarkable journey together.

“I wanted people to know what Pat achieved,” he says. “She was extraordinary.”

From pen friends to partners for life

Their story began in the mid-1950s, when Brian was a 17-year-old teenager with a handful of pen pals. Among the names was a girl from Mountain Ash called Pat. “I had to get a map out,” Brian laughs, recalling how he cycled 27 miles from Bridgend to meet her. That first meeting changed everything.

“She had lovely brown eyes,” he remembers. “We just clicked.” Pat didn’t let her disability define her, her personality always shone through.

“I didn’t see the disability. I saw the person,” Brian says.

Breaking barriers together

Pat’s strength and spirit were remarkable. Despite needing help with dressing and mobility, she was stylish, witty, and fiercely independent. “She was never a drama queen,” Brian says. “She had a quick-thinking brain. Too quick for me most of the time!”

Life together wasn’t easy. In those days, accessibility was rare. Brian recalls carrying Pat up flights of stairs to their flat in Fernhill and pushing her wheelchair through the streets of Mountain Ash. Their weekly highlight was visiting Caffè Bracchi, a beloved Italian café that became their social hub.

“People might have stared, but we didn’t care,” Brian says. “We were just like any other couple.”

A life full of adventure

Together, they built a life full of excitement. “From struggling to go four miles to Aberdare, we ended up visiting nearly 20 countries,” Brian says with wonder. Pat embraced every experience, proving that Cerebral Palsy never stopped her from living life to the fullest.

Her resilience was shaped early. Her mother, Ruby, fought tirelessly for her education, even pushing her up steep hills to school six times a day until a breakdown forced a change. Eventually, Pat attended a residential school for physically handicapped girls in Wiltshire. This gave her independence and skills, including typing, which later helped her connect with Brian.

Honouring Pat’s legacy

Brian’s book about Pat’s life is a tribute to her courage and their love. The response has been touching. One young woman stopped him outside the library, saying, ‘Mr. Chick, I must thank you for Pat’s book. It had me crying.’

Brian hopes their story inspires others to see beyond disability. “Never judge a book by its cover,” he says. “Make that first approach. Pat never once said, ‘Why me?’ She just lived.”

Her life is proof that with determination and support, it’s possible not just to overcome barriers, but to thrive beyond them.

A love that endures

Today, Brian carries her memory everywhere with him. “If I could turn back time and have just one more moment with her, I would,” he says softly. “We weren’t angels, we argued like anyone else. But we had 70 years together. And that’s something you can’t put a price on.”

For Brian, Pat’s life is a reminder that challenges can lead to triumphs and that disability never defined her.

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